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Tue, Aug. 24th, 2010, 11:27 pm

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

oh shit u guys i has been doing a lot of shit this summer. but frist i want to wine about some shit!!! some dude has been living with cHRIs! I am not sure what is goin on with that and I will be honest i did to be believin ruBY when she said she seen this dude on CHRIss front porch early one morning drinkin coffeee in his SLEEPWEAR! WHATTHE FUCK who is this guy and why is it him sleeping in chris's arms and not me?! this has been goin on for a week, u guys. it all started when CHris was pulling out his personal affects (THAT IS SERVICE SPEAK FOR SHIT THAT BELONGS TO YOU, IN CASE YOU IS TO UNAMERICAN TO NO SHIT ABOUT THE SERVICE) to sell in his front yard and that dude comed over to help him. i did not like how close he was helping him. and to make it worse i aint been seeing RUTH (that is CHRis's HAG) for awhile so i think she is away and this is all goin on behind her back and i am about to send her a annonamis tellegram so she knows that chris is having secret sleepovers (THAT I IS NOT INVITED TO). (i was hoping to buy an old jock strap that CHris might have worn in high school but he was mostly just selling fishing shit and i am not manly enuf to need that shit) AND THEN rubY been hanging out with some broad she grewed up with. her name is jessy, i dunno. she has a husband names TOMMY and now jessy and RUBY think it is some game to make me and TOMY best friends on a rainbow. i am like, "look, my butthole is still smartin' from when my old boss TED left the FAYGO PLANT, never to talk to me agian" and now this bitches are tryin to hook me up with some new dude and i am scared to get close, i cant lie. anyway. we all went to a craft thing on sunday. it was pretty gay but i did get to taste lots of mustard and HOT SAUCE because that is what real men do at craft shows. toMMY and me talked a little, i mean, we both have a lot in common seeing as how we have BITCHY WOMANS IN OUR LIFES. but everytime we would talkies, ruBY and jessy would giggle and elbow each other and i was like "you girls are ruinin the momemnt!!!!!" it is already so hard for me since i am intimmmidated by TOMMY's striking eyeballs and manly intrests. being around him almost makes me forget about obama. he is a real looker. WE MIGHT go do man things some time. but i bet ruBY will try and tag along because she thinks we will talk about her, like yeah right.

Wed, Aug. 25th, 2010 06:11 pm (UTC)

I read this last night and I'm still giggling about "striking eyeballs."

Tue, Sep. 7th, 2010 05:55 pm (UTC)

YES! I am now happy!!!!!