oh shitz my brithday was on saturday and i turned the big 4-4. i am secretly siked about it even tho ruBY is all "omgz u is practicaly 50, start orderin' from the senior sektion of the menu!!!" becuz 44 is the number of my FAVRIT Penguin, Brooks ORPIK. (PENGUINS is a HOCKY TEAM if u to stupid to be knowin') i like him becuz he is like a bully, like sumpin' i always wanted to be in HIGHSKOOL but was not cool-strong-brave enuff.
anywayz on my bday i went to the art festibal with that baby and RUBy and her friend ALEEHSA. ALEESHA Is a lesbionic that means she likes girls and weeners make her cry. i was glad there was no cocky skulptures for her to be cryin' about. there was lots of womans wearin' natural clothings and eatin' granola and i bet she liked them girls.
RUby wanted me to buy her some ugly mug and i was like "bitch 'member whos day this is" and she was all "every day is myday so u best shut yer mouth or i'll leave yu" and ofcourse i am like "BITCH THEN LEAVE" jesus!!!!!! talk about the best way to make my brithday PERFECT!!!
Then i was mad cuz i ended spending the whole time babysitting that kid while RUby and her lezzie friend (OK FINE SHE IS MY FREN TO) went runnin' around looking at ugly art shit and i was like surprised that there was a lot of crap there that aktshully made me apprecate ruBY's fake art!!!
OH AND YEAH 2 fridays ago i had to go to this city called COLUMBUS, it is not in my state just so you no, so RUBy could see that dummie band CHIODOS (i had to look on my OVERPRICED TICKET to see how to spelled there name) and it was so terrble. FRist of all, i could not do no drinkin' since i had t o drive and my mommy raised me right, u no. So RUby was drinking some jerky shit called STRONGBOW and she was like gettin' very aggressive with all the doods there and my weener was curling up like a rubber hose cuz i thought for sure i was gonna have to fight for her and i was spending a lot of time looking for a secret way out. i can not be fighting no 20 yr olds!!!! my son is 16 and he kicks my ass ALL THE TIME! 20 yr olds are even scarier cuz most of them are in college and every one knos that is where they learn how to fight cuz they need to no how to defend themselfs when drunk girls fight back.
It was rilly dumb. except the singer of that band was sitting near us at the bar and i will not lie, he is one fine peice of ass and everytime i be seein' him all i can think is "omgz he is like delicioso" (dora teached me that.) he has a neck tatoo and i am gonna get one. i am gonna get STYX words there. you know, words, like the ones in thier songs. what u call those words?
WELL GUYZ i am havin' to go to my SECIND JOB now. I work TWO JOBZ now because rubY is worthless and cannot find one of her own. she sits around and listens to gothic musac and paints ugly picktures all day and lets that kid climb out windows/