Wed, Nov. 5th, 2008, 08:32 pm
oh shit u guyz. i votid. did u? i was rilly confuzed though cuz i could not find BUSHIEs name on that darn screen?? i paniked. like i could bearely breethe n'at & thank god i has my mommy on speed dial. I called her up and she was like, she sez to me, "sunny u go on and touch where it sez MCCAIN cuz he is the closest thing to our good man BUSHIE out thar. And he ain't no blackie either" so that's what i did, i touched that men's name and my weener kind of sprung up and darn if that SARA PAYLEN aint the HOTTEST broad i seen since that one porno with the dude who can suck his own dickie and fucks hoes with glass bottles. i am hopin that SARA PAYLiN runz for prezzie in 2013. i will votin for her even tho she is a women and that is like, weird, a women runnin for a mens job. then i can be rapin' all the women and those dum bitches will has to buy there own rape kitz, lulz. THAT IS A AMERICA I WOULD LIKE TO BE LIVIN IN!!!
so i come home from votin and i look at my BUSHIE scrap book for awhile, and i think about all the good times he gave our cuntry and how he was always sayin' wordz i did not no cuz i am not as smrt as him, and don't worry i did not FORGET POLAND in my memories, and then i thought about FAYGO and how i wanted to drink some red pop. so then i go to bed thinkin i will wake up and be able to shootin wolfs from the sky n shit BUT NO THAT GODDAM YOUNG DOOD WHO USES SCARY WORDS THAT I DO NOT EVEN THINK IS REAL is eleckted and now i is scarred cuz he is talkin about wanting to CHANGE SHIT UP.
I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE!!!!! in fact, some times i do not even change my soiled underroos after erotic dreams that is how much i do not like change.
this is not kewl u guyz. i am so scared that maybe this might mean the war in irack will be over and is not done pretendin' i am flying fighter jets over the dessert. i used to dream about that shit when i was notr getting no action in the SERVICE.
ARE CUNTRY IS LIKE, SCREWED U GUYS. U CAN ASK SHAWNN HANNNITTEE. HE WILL TELL U LIKE HE BEEN TELLIN ME.
Oooh, beef jerky. ttfn.
Thu, Jul. 17th, 2008, 08:16 pm
Hay u guyz here i is textin' my work boyrfreind DAVE (DAviekins) from dinner tha other nite!!!! we text all the Time!!! some times he will CALL ME instead of replaying to my texts!!!!!!
i like DaVe becuz he is older and wiser then me, he knewed a lot about BELGUN beer, and he likes important bands like NEW YORKE DOLLZ. and he has a good porn collection. i do not no this for a fact yet but i bet it is true. i will bet that BABY that it is true.
ME and RUby watched a pron about some scary dude who got outta prison and he could suck his pwn ween. he raped a girl with a bottle to. i has been practising these things ever since.
Mon, Jun. 9th, 2008, 06:37 pm
Hay guyz guess whut i am FURTYTHREE now!!!!! my bday was last friday. rUBY did not order me around all day!!!! and my one kid even 'membered to call me becuz myspace reminded him!!!!
SatUrday nite her mommy comed over and watched that baby and ruBy tooked me out to dinner. I Guess it was sposed to be a date? her bought me some beer but then complained that it was so epensive so i only be drinking 2 kinds! i had to TEXT my work bff DAVE and ask him what kind of beer to get cuz they is BELGUIM and i am not speeking that
i ignored ruBY lots by pretending to really like the collige base ball game that was on the tv. then i starred at are waitresses tits to but that did not do nothing cuz ruBy was like "yes i think she is a hotty to". then ruBY wanted to talk about the PENGUINS and i was like "this is a dumm convo bitch no one cares about that shit" but rilly it is cuz i do not know shit about sports except for mans swimming and that is only cuz hello!!! who does not want to watch those hott mens in their tiny bathing suits?!?
the bill came to $66 with the tip. ruBY made it that way so she could act like it was a CO-IN-SIDINCE that it was MARIO LEMYOO's number and then have an escuse to be all sad again. she is so dum i keep hoping she will drink poison or somthin.
then the wait ress was like "whut does birthday boy want for desert?" and of course ruBY told me what i wanted and hooboy i think there was BEER in the BELGUM pudding and i was like so drunkz0rz that rUBy had to driving me home!!! i was so embrassed cuz when we got home CHRIS was outside (WITH NO SHIRT ON!!!) AND RUby told him that i was drunk on 2 beers!!!! i was like "i is not. i just did not wanting to drive."
THat pudding was so yummy tho, the kind of yummy that makes me want to dunk my weener into stuff. like CHris' BUTTHOLE.
but now it is not my brithday no more so ruBY is making me pick up my socks again and taking out her depression on me. it is sadness.
Tue, May. 27th, 2008, 06:44 pm
hay u guyz i am sure u is all waiting to read about how amazin' i am with grillin' meat on the grill since yeserday was memroial day and all, but i have something even more specktacklar to say.
i wanted to cut the grass on saturday but the Mower was broked down. I was out there in the yard like for ever trying to fix it and then 2 little boys walked by and stopped to watch prolly because of the way my big mussles ripple when i pull back that cord thingie to start up the Mower, u no? rUBY said it was prolly cuz they was makin' fun of me but i was like fuck that noise byotch like she even noes what the fuck a Mower is.
any way, so CHRIS (omg omg) cums out and is all "hay buddy lets do this thang" and so together it only took CHris and me THREE HOURS to fix it. here r sum pics:
OMG it was so hard to not look at CHRiss big ass sock crotch. i wish i looked good in tucked-in shirts like he does!!!!! like a real man and shit.
then we moved to the bottom of the driveway and i got down real low like that song about the APPLEBOTTUM JEENS, hoping that CHRis would try to ride me or something. it was nice to have some privisy back there but then i hear asshole RUby laffin' from the dining room window. at least she tooked this good picture of me and CHRis working HARD together, hard like my weeenr!!!
i got to meet my other naybors boyfriend. his name is MARK and he is black. i does not have black freinds but he shooked my hand and then said hi to me yesterday during the parade so that means we is freinds now rite? so i can haz street cred finaly? he was warin' a bandana to!!!!!!
look at chris's HOT ASS.
SUCKSESS!!! look at how hardassed i am!!!!!!! and RUBy knewed it to which is why she was at the door takin' pictshures of me.
Mon, May. 12th, 2008, 07:41 pm
Hooooo boy u guyz. ruBy and her dumb brothr Cory went to PHILLY over the weekend to see that stupid band the CUre. it was good because, hallo, no rUBY!! but it was bad because i had to babysat that dumb baby all by myself. i mean, hes ok when hes just sitting on the couch with me and watching car chase videos and CSI (MY FAVRITE SHOW ON T ELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but some times he is wanting to get up and play and shit and i'm like, HAY KID papa's got brittle bones. now go get me a BEER and a HOAGIE and STFU!!!!!"
on SAturday, ruBY been calling me ALL THE TIME crying cuz she does not know where she is. and then she is crying cuz the motel is like, seedy or some shit and i'm like, "stfu bitch u no u been fuckin dudes in worse places!!!!" god damn1!!!!
then she is like, "wah wah wah find me and corey some place to eat" and i'm like "bitch i is in pittsburg!!" so she makes me go on line and look for places around them when she has a BLACK BERY that she could be usin!!!!!! every time i take my dickie out to play, she be callin me.
i made sure the motel i picked for them was in a RILLY BAD AREA to, hoping she'd be stabbed or turned into a drug mule maybe but damm if she didn't find her way back home the next day.
i worn a bandana to a CONCERT a few weeks ago and boy did i forget how hot i look in them. all kind of ppl were staring at me that nite!!! i leaned up against the wall with my arms crossed and gave them the "I NO I AM A BAD ASS" stare down. all the young girls wanted to bang me. YOUNG GIRLS LIKE 14!!!!
guyz some broad sent me a messige to my LIVejournal inbox!! HOw did she no the address i wonder?!?!
newayz this is what its sayin:
Hello Dear new friend
my name is sharon i saw your profile at www.livejournal.com and i found pleasure to write you as my my friend so that we can
each othere,please mail me through my email address
(firstname.lastname@example.org)so that i will send you my pic for you to
who i am for the love and pleasure i have develpoed in your lovely
profile i awaits your lovely reply as soon as you get this mail.
please please please contact this email directly
i think what she is tryin to say is this?
"Hoover i seen ur picture on lj and frist i was like omg john black! but then i seen the real pictures and even though u is not srsly stud-like with catapiller eye brows like JOHN BLACK, i can see that u prolly have a decent working steve johnson* inside ur pantz. ruBY sounds like a fat dyke u should dump her better yet stab her to death and throw her in a dumpster outside Planned Parenthood and then POOP on her to, and then u and me can make babies and sell them for BOOZE.
i have big tits.
i am gonna wait for ruBY to go to work and then i will be writing a nice reply. i will give her my phone number, and my social security # to, prolly.
*STEVE JOHNSON HE IS MY 2ND FAVE GUY ON DAYS OF OUR LIFES ONLY BECAUSE BO IS LIKE DYING RIGHT NOW AND LOOKS UGLY (i is three weeks behind so if he is dead now or somehow got a new pnacreas, plz do not tell me!!!!)
Thu, Feb. 21st, 2008, 04:39 pm
guyz i am sry that i has not posted in 16 weeks but look -- i has been busy with my job and raising rUBy and her baby. i work long grooling hours and i has lots of responsilitys now and its just crazy like woah.
i am so important that i was sent to DETROIT in november. i mean, that is like faygo capital. I GOT TO SEE FAYGO BEIN' MADE. whats up NOW.
anyway, i has to make this short cuz i am so busily importnat now. but i had to write in my diary about some thing amazing that is happening this weekend:
JOHN BLACK IS COMING TO THE CAR SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111
the prob is that RUBY is crying about going to see one of her gay bands in columbus and i already said yes cuz she was like 'ill cut off your dickie with a rusted rake" and guyz that is some scary shit cuz she might rilly do it!!! u have never seen her mad. i have. it's ugly.
i want to get my piccie taken with john black:(
If you could create your own movie, what would it be about?
we be sexin' squid while wearin' granny pants and then we like go to the jungle no the dessert NO WAIT alaska in a igloo and we touch eskimo weeners. and then there is a diamond that is stoled by the russian mob and we has to go and get big machine guns and shoot them all in the heads but not untl we make them suck are weens.
obv. the carhacters are me and my mommy. ted will be in it to but he will be like charle from the angels movie (not the choco factory) so u will not see him, just here his voice, which is good cuz he is not talkin to me still ever since he knewed about my journal. so i will find some dude that sounds like him.
it will called "THE SERVISE RULZ".
btw, ruBY ditched me for a real website and now i am all alone and tryin to do this thang with out her and it is scary. good thing i has my mommy on speed dial.
Mon, Oct. 22nd, 2007, 04:11 pm
aw man ruby done went and fucked with the new naybor -- some broad from tHE HILL DISTRICT which every one knoes is teh GHETTO so now shes gonna be sickin' the CRIPS on us.
in othr newz i finally had my old broke down car towed today and i got a hundred big ones for it!!!! im buying beer (cheap kinds), cheese curlz and fishin' videos tonite.
yesterday we went over RUBYs aunt charmane's house and her husabnd richared was there and woo boy was he a pistol!! he kept saying mean things to charmane and i was like "hells yeah u is my idol for real yo" and then he took me on a tour of the house and they got a BAR. i will be hanging out with him more i think. i liked that he did not care that there was people in the room when he was degrading his wife. that is a Real Man. may be he will take me to play golf some day which is some thing that i has always wanted to do but some how i only ever know men who go fishin' and beer can shootin and sexual harrassin.
What are your top three destinations and why go there?
1. potty at work. b/c that is where i be relievin' myself when i am around dave the salesman to much. he is pretty intensely hot.
2. war. i has not gone there yet but i was in the SERVISE once and i love our pres. bush and if he tolded me, "hoover, getcher fine hiney to irack" i would do it. i do not care that i have that baby.
3. walmart. that is where i go to be around ppl of my own class. it is like a club for poor workers like me.